Brown Cows and Pink Lemons: Study Could Show America’s Declining Intelligence

Has our education system been milked for all it’s worth? When it comes to rather mundane subjects like milk, we’re under the expectation that everyone has a keen understanding about where their drinks come from. It might sound strange, and I know it is, that we decide our post is about milk and lemonade. But a shocking discovery may leave some doubting the effectiveness of today’s education. What could go wrong?

A survey was conducted during the summer of 2019 by Akira Kurosawa, a graduate of Abibas University. The questionaire was intended to gauge the intelligence of the average American. Starting in June of last year, participants were surveyed in public areas such as malls, public transit and (you guessed it!) grocery stores. On conclusion of the survey, Kurosawa discovered a shocking revelation.

Of the 7,000 people surveyed over a period of four months, about 30% believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. This may lead to skepticism for some, but things get beefier afterwards. Another revelation shows that of the 30% of participants who think chocolate milk comes from brown cows, about 10% also believe pink lemonade comes from pink lemons. This left Kurosawa stumped as to whether the results were skewed or if participants surveyed are part of a narrow demographic.

What could this mean?

If those surveyed were part of a specific demographic, the survey results would be flawed. Another shortcoming might be the sample size. A group of 7,000 people doesn’t give a broad understanding of the general population’s beliefs. Therefore any inferences would be inconclusive.

Kurosawa hopes the results of the next survey turn out to yield a better insight on the population’s intelligence. If the results of the next survey turn out to be positive, then this should instill some confidence of the American education system among skeptics.